Love and Atraction (Ontologically)

Attraction happens by opposition; love by similarity. 

      But each one, the opposition as much the similarity, can be accidental or substantial, and with or without each other.  And the qualities of the main types of relationships ( the familiar, the friendship, the erotical, and others) is ruled by this configuration. Furthermore, for some oppositions are obviously destructive or  simple doesn't cause attraction by its nature so its a certain kind of opposition what maters:

the opposition in therms of a complementation  

 the opposition in therms of a creative conflict, 

 the opposition in therms of a hierarchy

 the opposition in therms of gender

and so on.

  They appear in general as fullness and lack of something. So it is not enough the existence of difference; it is necessary that the difference manifest itself as a opposition, and that such opposition is related as fullness and emptyness of something in common, that is, something to share. 

  If some opposition is just intended as absolute appearance and empty expression, this "game" shows in fact a similarity between those who are related in the attraction, or it shows a complementation of the differences between then: that is the common play of lovers, to play as if, and so opposition and underlying similarity seems to increase at the same time. The attractive opposition is a opposition between appearances and sensitive manifestations: that is why it provoke emotions faster, although not always everlasting emotions. For the same reason a difference can be source of repulsion when felt as a certain and threatening opposition.

   In the other hand a similar quality can be also attractive, but its sensitive manifestation affects more the reason and judgement. So it matters for the attraction if the sensation of similarity is predominant of good or bad things, but namely in the sense that just one or other its seem. An attractive similarity is attractive if it shows the good qualities and hides the bad ones.

   

  However, the similarity, as a universal category for everything that exists, not a certain sensitive manifestation to the feeling, is more essential, because it sets a condition to think what is different, and so to re-think and judge what is opposed; not less evident it is some similarity by itself, taken beyond the reactions to feelings of attraction or repulsion, condition of love. Condition, but not cause yet: not because two things are similar in some aspect we can perceive then as related in love.  

   It is necessary that they recognise the whole shared similarity, not its short appearance to the sensibility "as only bad or only good", and accept (i.e. don't fear) the emotion parallel to this recognition (the love). Recognition is here not meant as a process of thought, although a spiritual act (a mental act). It is the "second cognition": the reflex over the felling.

   Recognition of the similar condition in a precedent universal similarity is then the cause of love, and love a kind of unmixed  gender of emotion above half-conscious feelings based on sensations. It requires a mind capable of conceiving a whole that goes beyond itself.  So you love the Creation, your cat, or even your cup of tea in the proportion of the similarity that you can recognise between you and then, but also in proportion to the similarity you both have with what is precedent and universal to you both.

  

          It is therefore not hard to see a important difference between love and attraction: 

         attraction happens at a subconscious level, but for love is required awareness.

 That is why love and hate are properly human/spiritual things, and animals are just attracted (or repulsed) to each other: they never love or hate.

          But their world are not so apart from ours at all: 

   It is a world constitued of causal reactions or indiference, where a value that connect such events is missing.